AFFIRMATION - COMMUNICATION - COOPERATION

How we see the problem is the problem.
Stephen R.Covey

It seems that it is deeply embedded in our culture to think about things and people negatively. It is much easier to talk about persons and things what is wrong and what we do not like than to stress what we like or find good. Teachers and parents are very shy in praising their pupils and children. Sometimes they do start the sentence positively, but it is only to add its counter-part, the famous "but" bringing negative opinion. This is assessment. This assessing approach to oneself as well as to others has a tendency to stress negativity. It means that our primary focus falls on a person's weakness, inability, failure and sin rather than on praising his/her capabilities, achievements and merits. We adopt and develop this model of reasoning throughout our lives and it becomes the paradigm on which we build our attitudes and our behaviour.

But that paradigm is like sunglasses: you see yourself, others and the whole wide world regarding to the colour of your glasses. A negative paradigm focuses on default, on something that is missing and that we think it should be there. Communicating with others we experience that kind of behaviour as a demand, a reproach, an assessment, order or coercion. And the negative paradigm produces negative energy.

A positive paradigm is oriented towards the existing facts and values and uses them to build mutual relations and well-being. We experience it as acceptance of our personality with all its limits as well as potentials, as recognition of our autonomy, as a sign of trust and encouragement.

The following drawing illustrates the difference between these approaches: DAMIR focuses on the existing liquid and sees the glass as half full, while NEMIR sees primarily the missing liquid and considers the glass half empty.

NEMIR

DAMIR

Children are very sensitive to the way we approach them. During these workshops we are going to practise positive thinking about ourselves and others to help children to develop a positive sense of their personality, self-esteem and self-respect.

The negative strategies to approaching towards oneself and others that are so very deeply rooted in our families, schools and other institutions, decrease motivation, weaken a person's vital strength, his/her self-respect, self-esteem and their will to change and develop.

Therefore our programme has been changed: in this new edition the opening workshops are dedicated to affirmation and assertiveness. We want to point out that this alteration was recommended by teachers that participated in our last-year's programme.

In the chapter that deals with affirmation there are games and activities that will help pupils to strengthen their self-respect, their belief that every person is worth loving, and is capable of loving. These activities are aimed to make positive identity and to develop better communication and cooperation, mutual support and confidence in the classroom. The children may be more ready to face the problems in their communities and to resolve conflicts in an efficient and peaceful way. There are three skills to help us live peacefully and safely - affirmation, communication and cooperation. A well known Croatian proverb says, "The house is not narrow if the inhabitants are not furious."

To build that house we need three pillars: AFFIRMATION, COMMUNICATION AND COOPERATION.*

* Affirmation (L. affirmo) - the ability to think positively about oneself, about others and the world: to feel/accept one's own worth and the worth of others assertiveness in feeling, confirming and expressing one's values.
Communication (L. communico, from communis) - the ability to clearly convey one's own viewpoint without aggressive approach which would deny that of others, to listen respectfully and without prejudice.
Co-operation - the ability to work with others and to know how to share the responsibility for achieving a shared goal.