Loss and Grief

What we will be doing today: We will share our painful experiences and work on our losses; we will compare different ways of reacting of loss.

	The loss of something important to us and grieving over it, is a common experience for all of us. Although all of us go through it, people usually do not talk about losses. It seems that loss and grief is something that people experience in isolation, something each of us has to work through by him/herself. Today, we will try to do it differently. But what we need first is to start with good will and positive energy.
	I am proud. We throw a ball to someone and he/she tells the group what he/she likes about himself/herself, what is he/she proud of. The sentence should start with "I am proud of my . . . ". Then he/she says what good or successful things he/she has done recently. Then they throw the ball to someone else. In this way the others all take their turn.
	Imaginary ball. Everyone should hold his/her palms in front of them as if holding a ball. Make sure to imagine that the ball is a big one, so that your fingers are not touching one another. Then move your palms towards and away from each other without letting them touch and try to feel the stream of warmth between them. When you feel your palms are warmed up, turn your ball in different directions, here and there, keeping your palms warm all the time. Finally put your palms slowly off your ball and let your hands fall. But turn your palms upwards, as if holding a cup. Close your eyes and focus on your feeling for a moment. Feedback discussion: How did you feel? Did you feel any warmth? What else did you feel?
	Associations. Brainstorm with the whole group on "loss" and "grief". After completion every pupil decides on the association with "loss" and "grief that is closest to his/her experience and draws a picture under that title.
	Talking about our drawings. Choose someone from your group you can talk to about your drawing. Sit in pairs. Tell him/her how you and those around you felt when the event you have drawn happened. Then your partner describes his/her drawing to you. All drawings are presented to the whole group. Having seen them all, pupils speak about their associations. They group similar drawings into 3 - 5 categories (3 - 5 drawings in each category).
	Different events - similar feelings. The pupils in each category split again into groups and explain to each other what is the same and what is different about their drawings. They share their experience/remembering on the events that inspired those drawings, and recognize how totally different events can produce similar feelings.
	Chair. Pupils stand in a tight circle facing the back of the person in front of them. They should come as close as possible to one another, but still be in a circle. Then very carefully they sit on one another's lap. When they've achieved this, they start moving very slowly, starting with the left leg. ("Try to move like a centipede".)
	What do I do when I am sad. Again in the big group. Everybody writes on a piece of paper "What should I do if I want to feel better - after being sad, or after having lost something/someone". Everyone reads aloud and some of the answers are put on the board to categorise similar coping styles. At the end the pupils should be encouraged to add some more ideas about how to get better after loss.
	How I love the music of my song. Pupils sing the famous short song by J. S. Bach.*

Translation: How I like the music of my song and the silence of the soft night I like all the games and jokes but I don't like the bad, bad people. I like forest, river, meadow I am always in a good mood I like sun and sea and my sweet, sweet home. I like mother, and father my dear sister and brother, I like flowers and birds, and I like the whole, whole world.

* All songs in this manual have been written by famous composers like J. S. Bach, J. B. Lully and published in The Anthology of Short Songs by Great Masters. As lyrics in the manual are Croatian, English equivalent should be found. If needed, these songs can be replaced by other appropriate ones.